26 women explain the things they don’t want you to do when you go down on them

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Ah, oral sex. It’s a wonderful thing. And it sounds so simple – but in reality, it’s not.

thumbnail for post ID 19123312 ‘We didn’t speak the same language, but I knew she was my best friend’

The genitals are incredibly sensitive areas which each hold very sensitive spots – spots that don’t feel so good when touched and spots that feel simply amazing.

Of course, it can take practice for people to learn this, but when you do master the art of oral sex you’ll never look back.

But we can’t help but think that things would be much easier if people were just honest about what they do like and don’t like so that it didn’t take so much practice, so many not-so-pleasurable experiences, and so many average orgasms to finally reach the ultimate climax.

If people were more open to opening up, they’d enjoy themselves much more – and so would the person down there, taking pleasure in knowing that they’re pleasing you.

And so, to help those who are desperately wanting to please a woman in the bedroom – or those girls who’d like to share this with their partners so that they don’t have to spell it out for them themselves – we asked 26 women the things they really wish people wouldn’t do when going down on them.

Here’s what they said.

1. ‘So the thing I don’t want guys to do when going down on me is think that it is the only way to get me to climax, focusing too heavily on stimulation. To fix it or make it better, I would advise discussing with the partner on what is best for you to reach an orgasm and try to work you up in different ways.’

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

2. ‘When they have been licking everything but your clit for 20 minutes and you’re faking so hard you deserve an Oscar.’

3. ‘It’s not to do with speed, a lot of people seem to think it is. It’s very much about it being intense and paying a bit of attention to reactions and the area. I gotta say the obvious and no teeth, and not too much tongue. It’s a sensitive area, and for you to hit the right spots. Too much flat tongue is just dull and won’t do the job.’

4. ‘I hate it when they use the tip of their tongue right on your clit but do it really lightly. Like it’s the most sensitive organ in my body and you wanna do that? Makes me squirm and not in a good way.’

5. ‘Stop rubbing it like you’re the next biggest DJ at Cream Fields.’

6. ‘When they think it’s a good idea to blow into your vagina? Like why? Swear almost every guy I’ve been with tried doing it!’

7. ‘When they get too into it and start jabbing your vagina really hard with their fingers. Stop stabbing my cervix and I might actually get off at some point.’

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

8. ‘I hate it when they’re licking the wrong place and you’re there trying to wriggle to move them and then they move with you! Or nibble? Why bite, man?’

9. ‘When you’re at the tipping point and they move to a different spot. Annoys the heck out of me.’

10. ‘When they suck so hard you think they might suck your lip off.’

11. ‘When guys think the alphabet thing [that’s when you spell A, B, C… with your tongue] really works… no, that’s just a sloppy mess.’

12. ‘When they literally go mental on the clit, like calm down my legs are spazzing out and it’s not even enjoyable!’

13. ‘When you’re nearly there and they change rhythm.’

14. ‘One of the most awkward things that my friends and I have spoken about before is how men sometimes comment on a woman’s vagina – but it’s part of our body that doesn’t always need validating.

‘For example saying something like “that’s a bit hairy” or commenting on the size/shape is just a bit weird and insensitive. I’d say that men should just focus on making a woman feel comfortable and appreciating her lady parts in all their glory.’

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

15. ‘I hate it when they rush. Don’t just go straight into it, doing 100 miles an hour. Take it slow, kiss my inner thighs and belly.’

16. ‘When they literally rub their face in your vagina and they have the worst stubble. It’s what I can imagine running a cheese grater on my bits would feel like.’

17. ‘Don’t blow raspberries down there.’

18. ‘I don’t want someone to keep asking if it’s OK? Like shut up and do what you’re meant to be doing and listen to whether I like it or not!’

19. ‘Spitting on you, making a horrible slobbery noise. I can’t stand the feeling when their slobber is running down.’

20. ‘When they lift your ass up so you’re in the position of a crab and you suck up all his breathing air and almost his head. It’s not f***ing gymnastics.’

21. ‘When you’re mid-orgasm and they come up for that lips kiss.’

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

22. ‘When they go straight into it without going slow and gentle at first – it feels as though they’re in a rush and I can’t focus on enjoying myself properly.’

23. ‘When they put their whole mouth around it without focusing on any certain part. I can’t get off without the right attention.’

24. ‘When they put me in awkward positions like the crab, when all I want to do is lay back and enjoy myself. Trying not to collapse on your face because I’ve somehow ended up with my body in the air was not part of the plan.’

25. ‘When they graze it with their teeth. It may feel nice from time to time, but it’s not worth the fear it feels me with every time I’m worried you’re accidentally going to bite me.’

26. When they go down on you for all of two seconds and then expect me to be ready for anything else. What’s the point?

So, guys and girls. In conclusion, if you’re going to go down on someone, be sure to make it a really pleasurable experience for them. Think about how you’d like to be treated – you wouldn’t like to be rushed, would you?

Make sure that when you’re spending time down there, you pay attention to all of their most sensitive spots – but keep variety so you don’t put too much pressure on just one (yes, we are referring to the clitoris, it is extremely sensitive) part.

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

While we appreciate you asking what we like, asking whether you’re ‘doing okay’ every twenty seconds can be off-putting. Be confident with your oral skills.

And finally, remember that while the vagina as a whole is incredibly strong, it’s also very delicate. Treat it with care. Don’t be rough with your fingers, your teeth, nor your tongue – unless you’re asked for it specifically.

The more care, the more relaxed a woman will feel – and everyone knows the best orgasms come when you’re feeling totally at ease.

Oh, and one more thing – if a woman is trying desperately to move you into another area, it’s likely that you’re in the wrong position. Just a heads up.

Some of these comments came from ladies we chatted to in Facebook group GirlsMouth. You can follow them on Instagram and Twitter, or like their page here.

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