Dear Amy: I’m a 44-year-old divorced male in Maryland, and I’ve been corresponding online with a 45-year-old divorced woman in Texas.

We’ve been talking about meeting, but just recently she told me that when her 22-year-old son visits her, they sleep in the same bed.

She assures me there’s nothing sexual going on, but even without any sexual activity, it still doesn’t seem right for a grown man to share a bed with his mother.

She tells me that her son will always be “her baby,” and that he thinks of her as a “security blanket.”

Don’t get me wrong, I love my mother, and I love that she still thinks of me as her baby, but I only think of her as a security blanket in a figurative sense, not literal!

To me, a man who still shares a bed with his mother is a child who hasn’t been weaned.

What are your thoughts? Is it psychologically healthy for a grown man to share a bed with his mother?

Do you foresee problems if I should pursue a relationship with this woman?

– Pondering in Maryland

Dear Pondering: You have to wonder why some people decry the Internet dating scene as being overly loaded with weirdos and nincompoops.

Of course it isn’t a good idea for a normally functioning grown man to share a bed with his mother, unless, of course, said man is considering producing yet another lousy remake of “Psycho.”

Equally strange is the mother who thinks of this grown man as “her baby” while he sees her as his “security blanket.”

Ick.

Yuck.

It’s time to mosey along and perhaps meet another potential partner – preferably one who shares your basic values and, well, more or less lives on this planet.

I’d suggest giving this woman the “reboot.”

Dear Amy: I was dismayed to read your column putting down people who live in polyamorous relationships.

I believe that people should have more choices than just one-man and one-woman marriages.

I’ve learned that it’s a lot more interesting to have a variety of lovers and friends, and I don’t appreciate your moralizing or telling me what the “right” way to live is.

After you’ve tried out a different way of life, feel free to comment on it.

– Albert

Dear Albert: Just to be clear, “polyamorous relationships” are relationships that include multiple sexual partners.

Frankly, I don’t care one way or the other if consenting adults wish to meet and mingle with other consenting adults in whatever variety of partnerships they desire.

What concerns me is when parents draw their children into these reindeer games.

I feel quite comfortable moralizing about the stupidity and insensitivity of involving kids in these confusing adult relationships.

Regardless of how interesting you might find it to have a variety of lovers, I very much doubt that your children would get such a kick out of it.

If I had to “try out” every way of life to comment on it, I’d hardly have time to open my mail and answer fascinating letters such as yours!

Jobs such as mine are best suited to spinsters.

Dear Amy: We’ve just hosted a get-together where we were left in a quandary about the heat.

The temperature was set on 70, however an elderly guest complained about the temperature being too cold.

A couple of middle-age women complained about the temperature being too warm.

Should we have cranked up the heat, putting all of the other guests into a sweat, to make the elderly guest comfortable? Should we have constantly shifted the thermometer to accommodate the requests of individual guests?

– Hostess Out in the Cold

Dear Hostess: I can’t think of the last time I was at a gathering where invited guests complained. About anything.

Who are these people? I can only assume that they are family members. Family members, unfortunately, feel comfortable voicing complaints when they are guests in one another’s homes.

If the majority of your guests are comfortable, then you should leave the thermometer where it is. Keep a cozy shawl on hand to offer to any guests who feel the chill. Neat paper folding fans in a basket could be available for any guests who may feel overheated.

–

Ask Amy appears Mondays through Fridays in Tempo, Saturdays in the Weekend section and Sundays in Q. Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611. Previous columns are available at chicagotribune.com/amy.

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